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Friday, January 2nd, 2004
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7:17 pm
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![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) bladesatsunrise is my new livejournal. I'll be posting from there from now on.
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| Wednesday, December 24th, 2003
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6:01 pm
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| Monday, December 15th, 2003
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12:24 am - Nightly Depression
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I've noticed this, it happens every night in which I have a lot of work or many tests the following day. It's nightly depression. I can't work when it happens. Everything I think of takes on a depressing air. I hate it. But I can't stop it. This never used to happen. I used to be able to work and pull all-nighters like they were nothing. Is this my body's way of telling me I need more sleep, that I need to sleep at night. I don't know. I do know that I only have one page down on this fuckin reseach paper. And I fucking hate it.
On a happier note, I think I'm gonna start a new livejournal, as I've grown tired of this name.
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| Sunday, December 14th, 2003
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7:00 pm - Decision Time
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Alright, this is very important. I need to know what everyone thinks.
Should I get a haircut or not?
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| Monday, December 8th, 2003
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12:06 am - Thanks Damien
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Bear with me as I mess around with all these settings.
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| Friday, December 5th, 2003
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1:05 am - Chaos, Infinity, and a need for Socom
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Ever picked oranges,
Each one groomed by the sun.
It's kinda like that.
Ever dreamt of the perfect day,
Life immersed in soothing light.
It's kinda like that.
Ever felt the thirst for blood,
Every person another target.
It's kinda like that.
Ever known that it's pointless,
That this is that, and this is this.
It's kinda like that.
And none of it makes any sense.
But that's what I came here to say.
current mood:  discontent
current music: Coldplay - Everything's Not Lost
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| Thursday, December 4th, 2003
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12:17 am - Warning
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meet me in outerspace
we will spend our night watching earth come up
i've grown tired of that place
won't you come with me
Lately I've just been feeling like I want to get away.
But I don't wanna go alone.
And would come with me.
I think that's what I'm missing.
A person.
Someone who would drop everything
Just to come with me.
To follow me, trust me.
Look how selfish I sound.
It's all about me: me me me me.
Why is life full of hypocrisy and double standards.
I feel stupid. And who will comfort me?
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| Wednesday, December 3rd, 2003
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1:30 am - Proof
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All those news stories and debates over the negative influences of games can all shut their mouthes. I have proof that these incriminating accusations are shit, just like the scum bags who thought them up.
Penny Arcade, a very well known web-comic for gamers, is running a charity for a children's hospital in Seattle. The following link shows that gamers are infact good people at heart:
http://www.penny-arcade.com/childsplay/index.htm
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| Tuesday, November 18th, 2003
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1:25 am - Another reason...
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Once again, I'm here to complain about school. This is fucking bullshit. This would have been an amazing day if I didn't have any homework. But no. I have plenty of work. This is fucking bullshit. The Less Than Jake concert was incredible, I'm probably gonna wake up with injuries everywhere, but hey, it was so worth it. The pit was great. No one ever thought I'd stay in there almost the whole time, right Hankin? Oh my fucking god, they were awesome. But now, I have work o do. I fucking hate school. This is fucking bullshit. =P
current mood:  pleased
current music: Incubus - Nice To Know You
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| Saturday, November 15th, 2003
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4:18 pm - AT&T
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AT&T sucks. If anyone is thinking of renewing their service, DON'T. If anyone is thinking of signing up, DON'T. I don't care if they have good plans or nice phones. 3 weeks on the phone with them will make you hate them too. if you're still having second thoughts, read their Terms $ Conditions contract. they need to go to hell.
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| Friday, November 7th, 2003
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1:11 am - Echoing through my mind is a silent echo
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There's something about the look in your eyes
Something I noticed when the light was just right
It reminded me twice that I was alive
And it reminded me that you're so worth the fight
My biggest fear will be the rescue of me
It's strange how it turns out that way
Could you show me dear
Something I've not seen
Somthing infinitely interesting
current mood:  indescribable
current music: Incubus - Echo
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| Tuesday, November 4th, 2003
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2:32 am - Like watching newborn babies crack from work-related stress.
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I told myself I need to go to sleep.
I told myself I wouldn't post, not tonight.
Why don't I listen to myself?
If you wanna know what my weekend was like, if you even care, you can look at michael's post. If you're even following my posts, you could tell I'm not very happy with the way things are right now. But I have no idea how to fix it. Hell, it can't be fixed.
I don't want to disappoint; I don't want to miss life.
I'm not gonna be one of those people standing at the bus stop waiting for life to come pick them up. I've tried it. It doesn't fucking work. But you don't have to take my advice. But then again, maybe that's why you're reading this. Maybe you're thinking this'll give you some insight into your own disorderly life, because no one's life is perfect. Well, I'm sorry if I disappoint you, and if you found what you were looking for, help me find mine. I'm looking for my White Fluffy Clouds, but I can't seem to reach them. So maybe I'm not looking for them, because I know where they are. In that case I'm just a lost boy, I know what I want, where to get it, but I can't. I can't. I will. Someday.
Roei
These cuts run deep, these scars are permanent.
current mood:  exhausted
current music: Alkaline Trio - l Lied my Face Off
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2:27 am - Random Thingy
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current mood:  blank
current music: Incubus - Redefine
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| Thursday, October 30th, 2003
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9:32 pm - My Blunt Survey
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| Wednesday, October 29th, 2003
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12:13 am - Give me my liberty back, you ass-munching schmuk.
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Have you ever just sat there thinking, knowing that you have a load of work to do, but you weren't really procrastinating, because you were thinking. And then you got that massive headache. And then you turned on the music to soothe your aching brain. But I digress.
I was thinking, the past couple of days. But it wasn't my usual thinking. No, no. I was thinking, but I can't remember about what. I know I've been thinking about the consequences of college. I've been thinking of being seperated from the people who make me what I am. I've been thinking of the 2000+ miles tract of land, whereupon we're all gonna be spread. I've been thinking of a certain shade of green. I've been thinking, damnit why am I thinking. Fuck it, fuck it all. Fuck every single ass-munching moron who shaped this faulty imitation of an institution that we call school.
Twain can speak out my feelings right now:
"In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards."
"I never let my schooling interfere with my education."
But I've been thinking of a better place. That's a lie. There's nowhere I can go to fully escape the shit that's bending my sanity over. All I have left is this struggle, but this is the same struggle that makes thirty-year-old corporate burnouts. I don't want to burnout, I want to grow wings and fly. I want to live. I need to stop thinking about living, and realize that there's nothing I can do about school, but I must make the most out of the little time school affords me to use for my own benefit.
Roei
Feudalism - it's your count that votes.
current mood:  stressed
current music: The Smashing Pumpkins - Tonight Tonight
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| Sunday, October 12th, 2003
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2:16 pm - This thing took forever
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//series one - about you
---> Name: roei
---> Birth date: 11/08/87
---> Birthplace: Israel
---> Current Location: CA
---> Eye Color: no idea
---> Hair Color: black
---> Right or Lefty: righty
---> Zodiac Sign: scorpio
---> Innie or Outtie: innie
// series two - describe
---> Your heritage: israeli
---> The shoes you wore today: my pacific slippers
---> Your hair: i'm hoping it hasn't turned grey yet.
---> Your eyes: i still have no idea, ask maia.
---> Your weakness? sleep
---> Your fears: not doing well
---> Your perfect pizza: pizzaman in israel -drools-
---> One thing you'd like to achieve: i wanna write a book. and live on an island.
// series three - what is
---> Your most overused phrase on aol\aim: hehe, dude
---> Your thoughts first waking up: it's saturday, right?
---> The first feature you notice in the opposite (or same) sex: voice.
---> Your best physical features: my eyes?
---> Your bedtime: shit, is that the sun rising?
---> Your greatest accomplishment: writing an essay every 7 minutes for honors bio.
---> Your best memory: the night before out bio portfolio was due, michael and i playing ffx till 4am :).
// series five - do you
---> Smoke: hookah.
---> Cuss: usually.
---> Sing well: better than king hankin.
---> Take a shower everyday: yup.
---> Want to go to college: yup.
---> Like high school: i'll tell you when i graduate.
---> Type with your fingers on the right keys: i guess.
---> Believe in yourself: during better times.
---> Get motion sickness: usually not.
---> Think you're attractive: ask berbo.
---> Think you're a health freak: hookah's good for you, right?
---> Get along with your parents: i do my best.
---> Like thunderstorms: if it's cold and i'm in bed.
---> Play an instrument: still thinking if i should pickup guitar or not.
// series six - in the past month, did/have you
---> Drank alcohol: yes.
---> Smoke(d): yes.
---> Done a drug: no.
---> Made Out: no.
---> Go on a date: no.
---> Go to the mall?: i don't remember.
---> Been on stage: sometimes on my soapbox.
---> Been dumped: no.
---> Gone skating: a bit.
---> Made homemade cookies: no.
---> Been in love: no.
---> Gone skinny dipping: no.
---> Dyed your hair: never again.
---> Stolen anything: don't remember.
// series seven - have you ever?
---> Played a game that required removal of clothing?: yes.
---> If so, was it mixed company: yes.
---> Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: no.
---> Been caught "doing something": depending on the definition of something.
---> Been called a tease: no.
---> Gotten beaten up: no.
---> Shoplifted: no.
---> If so, did you get caught: no.
---> Changed who you were to fit in: i don't think so.
// series eight - the future
---> Age you hope to be married: let's not think about this for a while.
---> Numbers and Names of Children: more than 1, less than 4
---> Describe your Dream Wedding: see age you hope to be married.
---> What age do you want to die: after i've accomplished enough to be remembered.
---> What do you want to be when you grow up: something worthwhile.
---> What country would you most like to visit: germany
---> Current Clothes: shirt,jeans.
---> Current Mood: happy
---> Current Taste: toothpaste
---> Current Hair: morning hair, like always
---> Current Annoyance: id rather not post it, lest it come back and haunt me.
---> Current Smell: michael's couch
---> Current thing you ought to be doing: eating
---> Current Desktop Picture: cg of an island with a pirate in the background.
---> Current Favorite Groups: fountains of wayne, incubus, less than jake
---> Current Book: starship troopers, the adventures of huckelberry finn
---> Current DVD/VHS In Player: the lion king
---> Current Worry: grades, math, psats, college scare
---> Current Crush: im still trying to figure this one out.
current mood: happy
current music: incubus - wish you were here
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| Tuesday, October 7th, 2003
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11:31 pm - Peer pressure's a bastard.
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Alright, I'll give in, I'll make a college list. Damn temptation.
Univesity of California, Berkely (Berkely, CA)
Boston University (Boston, MA)
New York University (New York, NY)
University of Chicago (Chicago, Illinois)
Yale University (New Haven, CT)
Stanford University (Stanford, CA)
That sounds depressing enough, we're all gonna be spread out across this huge chunk of land :(.
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10:38 pm - Welcome to Galapelooka, drop your fears and pick up a hooka.
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I like reading scifi books because they remind me of Galapelooka. I'd like to think one day my people will come and rescue me, then I'll be free to fly around the blue sky above my Galaelookian island. And I'll invite all my Earthly friends to come visit so we can kick back and eat chocolate syrup & ice cream straight off the Chalupian tress, smoke natural hookah produced by the native wildlife, and drink chocolate banana shakes from the Baculikin plants. Then we can relax in the perfect temperture water at the beach. Anyone can see the ocean's floor because one can breath the water, and you should see it if you could, the beautiful marmalade Marfupians scuttling along the Glattpoly covered ground. But if you can't make it, it's alright: Heaven isn't too far away, and God's just a stranger on the bus.
current mood:  crazy
current music: Catch 22 - Keasby Nights
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| Friday, October 3rd, 2003
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1:15 am - And it was all yellow...
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The sky's bland gray, and I like it. When I move I want to paint my room blue. Blue is relaxing and comforting. I like sitting in my room and wondering what it would look like if I was different: if I was younger, if I was older, if I had different friends, if I had a different family. And the room is always blue. My blue is always there. One of the only things that's stayed with me is my blue. But I don't want to share my blue with the world, the sky should be gray and never turn blue, only on my dream island will the sky be blue - on my dream island the world will rest; the world will remember harmony.
*this post isn't quite as meaningful because I had to rewrite it from memory*
current mood:  mellow
current music: Coldplay
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| Thursday, October 2nd, 2003
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1:23 am - Meaningless.
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I love lying on my bed staring at the ceiling, listening to music. I love drinking something freezing cold while I'm freezing cold. I like being cold in a sweatshirt. I need to stop being so negative. I need to run through grassy fields with my German-Shepard. I wanna live in the Shire, or wherever they filmed it. I want to write a story, or at least start writing meaningful poetry. I should be more accepting. I should stop writing because this post is rather stupid, and it doesn't really mean much.
current mood:  numb
current music: Simon & Garfunkel - The Sounds of Silence
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